Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
