The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize