'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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