piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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