Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
