Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
