needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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