no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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