and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
