I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
