i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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