it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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