No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said her name was "party"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
