Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Enjoy the penises
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
