If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
