You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My cat gives me a boner
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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