I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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