Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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