pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
