Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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