You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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