Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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