Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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