I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We're too hungover to prance.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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