I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
