What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
