I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize