With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
