Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
