ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
