she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
