he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
