i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
