my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
