I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
