I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
