Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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