one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
