i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
