ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
