ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
