great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
