Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
