if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
