dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
