Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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