Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
