I have demons in me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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