My pussy is not your playground.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize