that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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