We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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