D3 body, D1 cock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
