Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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