you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
