I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
