whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what day is it and did you see me today?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
