Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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