News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
