i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
