Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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