If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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